A birthday tribute

Today would have been my grandfather's 94th birthday. I think it is safe to presume that the great majority of people who live and have lived on this earth don't make it this many years in their lives. My grandfather was six months shy of it. It is hard to believe that he has been gone now for 6 months.

I've never been much of a birthday person. I don't know why. Maybe the excessive attention that some people give to it is just a little much to me and though I will never publically admit it (though I am doing it here), it is good to see that people say "Happy Birthday" if only because they care for me. My birthday is in two days, on 1 August. Interesting fact is that my great-grandfather, my grandfather's father, was born on July 31. So, we have a trifecta of birthdays in my family and we're all named Chris. Actually, they were Christians and I am a Christopher, but it's close enough. I never met my great-grandfather. He died back in 1957, I think. But the thing is that I always knew my birthday was around the corner because my grandfather's happened before it. Celebrating his birthday was in anticipation of celebrating my own.

Now, this year, there are no cards, no phone calls. I'm sure my mom is probably having a difficult time today and I can't imagine about my grandmother. When I visited her earlier this month when I was passing through Findlay, she mentioned her husband only once just simply to say "I miss him." All I could say is that I miss him, too. And that was all I said of it.

I saw my grandfather's burial site while I was in Findlay. I finally found it after much searching. When we buried him it was a cold, snowy day. Now the place was blossoming forth with green grass, flowers, big trees with lots of leaves for shade. There is still no headstone to mark the site (no one knows what to get) and there is still mainly dirt with a vase and some flowers.

This is the most empty July 30 I can remember. I never thought my grandfather's absence could make such a difference. But it has and I think that my upcoming birthday will be less, at least this year, just because he is no longer here.

+Memory eternal!

Things I want to do before I die

I think most people come up with a list like this, perhaps not consciously. But I've been thinking about this for a long time. For those of you who know me, you know that I do have a morbid side to my personality. Death makes me very contemplative, even if the person who has died has no real relationship to me. It just reminds me of the Medieval saying which can be found in inscriptions on tombs or in the churches, "Memento mori" meaning "Remember you will die." In fact, if you go to most of the great cathedrals in Western Europe, looking down at the floor you will see a skull looking back at you as if saying "memento mori." Even the triumphators of ancient Rome, parading themselves and their conquered spoils from foreign wars would always be accompanied by a slave holding a laurel wreath (the sign of Victory) over the conqueror's head and always whispered in his ear, "Memento, mortalis es" meaning "Remember, you're just a man." So when I contemplate my existence and the fact that I am dust (Memento quia pulvis est et in pulverem reverteris--remember man, thou art dust and unto dust shalt thou return), I have come up with a few things I wish to do that will make me immortal, if only for a limited time. Gene Hackman's character in Hoosiers was right when he said that most people would kill to be a god, if only for five minutes. So, sparing you any more delay, here are the things I want to do before I die.

1) Go skydiving solo

2) Go cliffjumping

3) Go to the running of the bulls in Pampalona

4) Play Madison Square Garden

5) Drive my car down a busy and twisty freeway at at least 120 mph

6) Visit and perhaps live on Mt. Athos for a time

7) Climb the stairs of the via dolorosa on my knees (there's only like 500 of those stairs)

8) Run a marathon

9) Compose a requiem mass for myself

10) Go dogsledding in the arctic

This is by no means a prioritized list or even comprehensive. There are, I'm sure other things I'll add as time goes on, but right now this will suffice.