Wanna win an academy award?

Dear Alec Baldwin,

For years now you have complained bitterly about not winning an academy award. Despite such passionate and unequalled in acting in such blockbuster films like "Beetlejuice", "The Hunt for Red October", "The Chase" and "Fun with Dick and Jane" not to mention how such great performances certainly make you a credible co-anchor to Robert Osbourne on TCM's show, "The Essentials" where he and you geniusly appraise what movies are absolutely essential for any movie-lover to know, also considering the success of the show "30 Rock" and last, but certainly not least, the fact that you were once married to Kim Basinger who did win an academy award for Best Actress for her work in one of the great movies of the 1990s, "LA Confidential", I can understand your frustration. Also, I'm sure that the screen actors guild's and the academy's constant overlooking of your natural and god-given talent which seems to have bypassed the other Baldwin brothers (yes, especially Steven) only brings out more frustration to the point that you threatened to leave the country on numerous occasions if Bush became President of the US (we're still waiting on that one) and that you call your daughter a " fat pig" which was then broadcast on every infamous celebrity show on E! and tabloid. How can a man clearly cast in the mould of Welles, Burton and Hanks be passed over so many times? I sympathize; I truly do.

But I have wonderful news for you, Alec. You can win an academy award. Granted you need to star in a movie first, but I've got the perfect way to guarantee you an Oscar: you need to die, preferably horribly and tragically. The movie doesn't have to be great, but it should be better than mediocre and you should try to do it before it's released to audiences around the world. That will help immensely.

I wish you well in that pursuit.

Sincerely,

Excelsior blog

OK, I'm no big fan of Alec Baldwin. Granted, I liked "Beetlejuice" and "The Hunt for Red October" but I own neither and can just as easily have done without them.

But it does seem that if you are an aspiring actor that you should naturally want to win an academy award for your efforts. I'm sure more than one actor has said that they would die to win an academy award. And there is precedent!

Heath Ledger won a postumous academy award for his role of the Joker in "The Dark Knight." Now, I don't think he was that great. He was convincing but he was a caricature trying to blend in so many different facets that it look contrived. Still, it was a good movie.

Now, after one day of showing, Michael Jackson's postumous documentary "This is it" is apparently getting some attention from the academy. I kid you not. Though I am not enthralled by Elizabeth Taylor's film critiquing abilities (considering that she is not a good actress either; anyone seen "Cleopatra?" I don't care if she won an academy award twice. So did Marisa Tomei. A great actress does not an Oscar make. But I digress) who remarked (paraphrasing) that it was the single greatest bit of filmmaking ever. Clearly over the top, but then again so is Elizabeth Taylor. Nevertheless, it seems that some in the academy are spurred by Dame Elizabeth's appraisal and are suggesting that this documentary deserves some consideration for an academy award.

Will he win? Too soon to tell since nomination won't even come out until January 2010. But if he does, maybe Alec will threaten to leave the country again. Maybe this time, he'll finally put his money where his mouth is.